Motherless Daughters

MOTHERLESS DAUGHTERS 7

MotherlessDaughters

Theprospectof beinga motherless daughtercan be quitechallenging forthedaughtersespeciallywhentheir belovedmotherhappensto passon whiletheyare stillyoung.There are severalfamiliesthat are beingforcedto establishalternative mechanismsof risingup their youngdaughtersafter thedeathsof their mothers.In theeventsthatthemothersin questiondiewhenthedaughtersare stillyoungitbecomesa challengeforthem to helpthesekids to developinto responsiblewomen.Thetopicunder discussionin thiscontextis quiteinstrumentalin thesensethatithelpsto understandtheproblemsthatyoungdaughtersgothrough in lifeafter losingtheir mothersat tenderages.Ithelpsthesocietyto understandthepredicamentsthattheseyoungstersundergowith a viewof devising meansof helpingthem to growinto matureandresponsiblewomenthat can be relied on by thesamesocieties.Thepapershall drawnumerousexamplesandargumentsfrom MotherlessDaughters,which is a bookwrittenby Hope Edelman. Edelman is an outstandingwriterthat is determinedto shareher storywith a viewof helpingothers to overcomesuchchallengesproperly.

Thepapershall be aimingat answeringtwo criticalquestionsthatshall be instrumentalin helpingto understandthetopicas wellas generating ideasthat shall guidetheentirediscussionandfactsfindingactivities.Thefirstquestionis whatimpactdoestheprospectof beingmotherless haveon youngdaughters?.Thesecondquestionis howcan thesedaughterscopewith thepainfullossof their mothers,andstillbecomesuccessfulin their lives?Theabove two questionsare goingto helpin thefact-finding missionsurroundingtheentireresearchto helpin gatheringadequateandnecessaryinformation.

Accordingto theviewsexpressedby Edelman (2006) in MotherlessDaughters,theideaof losingmothersat a tender agecan be quitedevastatinganddisgustingin equalmeasures.Shearguesthatdaughterstendto haveemotionalattachmentsto their motherswhotheyalwayslookupto as theygrowup.Clark (2006) adds that theimmediatefemalefigurein a youngdaughters’lifeis her motherwhohas a moralobligationof nurturingher to becomean awesomewoman.Sheactsas a rolemodelwhomthedaughterhas to copyandemulateher charactertraitsforher ownfuturebenefit.According to Edelman (2006), a motherisseenas thefirstteacherat thedisposalof her daughterwhohas theresponsibilityof guidingher on howto faceandaddressvariouschallengesin her life.

Theotheraspectthat isobservedwhenanalyzingmotherless daughtersis thatthemajorityof them tendto prolongtheir mourningperiodsdepending on thelevel of emotionalattachmentto thedeceasedmother.In thiscontext,a daughtertendsto feelthevoid leftby her latemotherto theextentof continuingto grieveforunexpectedlylongerperiods.Themourningandgrieving is quitedangerousforthepersonalitygrowthof thedaughtersin questionsince theywill endup livinglivesthat are not as completeas expectedof them (Edelman, 2006).

Majorityof thesedaughtersareleftin thehandsof their dadswho,unlike their motherscannot playthemotherhoodrolesexemplarily. Thesefathershaveto stretchtheir capabilitiesto fillthevoids leftby their deadwives,which might not endup beingpossible(Brown&amp DeRycke, 2010). It,therefore,meansthatsuchdaughterswill lackrolemodelsandan immediatefemalefigurethat can helpthem to learnwhatis expectedof them whentheyeventuallybecomemothersthusleadingto a generationof motherswhoare not wellpreparedto playtheir rolesproperly.

Thesocietyhas alwayscondemnedthestateof daughtersgrowingup without motherfiguresin their liveswithout lookingat theothersideof thestory.Evidenceshowsthattheideaof a daughtergrowingup without their motherscan helpthem to becomegreatwomenin thefuture(Mireaultet al, 2012). There are variousinstanceswheremotherstendto killthefemaleambitionportrayedby their daughterssince theywantthesedaughtersto emulatethem in allaspectsof life.Theseare themotherswhowerebornandraisedup at a timewhentheplaceof womenin societywasquiteunreasonable.There are instanceswheresocietiestendto limittheparticipationifwomenin numeroussocialandeconomicactivitiesbased on their gender.Mothershavebeenportrayedin variousinstancesas oneswhomostlytendto discouragetheir daughtersfrom beingambitiousbeyond thesocietal expectations (Edelman, 2006). Itis absolutelytruethatin theabsenceofsucholdschoolmothers,daughterscan tendto havetheir ownwaysin lifethusgivingthem chancesof pursuingtheir dreamseffectively.Edelman (2006) usestheexamplesof George Elliot, Marie Curie, andMadonna among others whohaveachievedgreatthingscourtesyof beingmotherless. Itis, therefore,depictedthatmotherless daughterscan usethischanceto benefitthemselves by chasingdreamsthattheywould otherwisehavenot eventhoughtof hadtheyhadtheir mothersalive.

Thereare numerousmeasuresthat can be adoptedby thefamiliesandsocietiesat largeto helpmotherless daughtersto cope with livesthenormalway.Theideaof losingmothersat suchearlyagesmeansthatthefamiliesin questionhaveto chargethesurvivingfemalefiguresin thefamiliestheresponsibilityof ensuringthatsuchdaughtersare takencareof effectively.Thefathersof suchdaughtershaveto createandspendqualitytimewith their daughtersto helpthem overcomethelossesof their mothersin theshortesttimepossible.As observed by Walter &amp McCoyd (2009), a fatherhas to ensurealwaysthatsheinteractswith her daughtersregularlyto establisha closerelationshipwith them to makethem feelvaluedandlovedthewaymothersdo.

Duringtheearlystagesof life,especiallywhenthedaughtersare stillteenagers,thesurvivingfathersandotherrelativesshall be forcedto usetheservicesof thecounselorsandexperiencedmothersto guidethesekids. Thecounselorswill helpthem to overcometheprospectof losingtheir mothersandthushelpingthem to forgeaheadirrespective of thepainandsorrowbroughtaboutby theuntimely demisesof their mothers.Mireault et al (2012) observe that theroleof experiencedmothersespeciallythosewholosttheir ownmotherswhileyoungshall be to helptheseyoungladiesto realizethatloosing mothersis anormalthingandhelpthem to livewith thereality.Theyshall nurturethem to acceptthelossesandrecollecttheir livesforthesakeof their futures.Suchexperiencedmotherswill guidethem on howtheycan usethedisappointmentof losingtheir mothersfortheir ownbenefitby workinghardin lifeanddedicatingtheir successesto their latemothers.

Asobserved by Schultz(2007), fathershavetheresponsibilityof remindingthesekids howcommittedtheir motherswereto ensurethattheybecomesuccessfulin lifeto enablethem to becomedeterminedto maketheir mothers’dreamsa reality.Theyshould helptheseyoungladiesto shapetheir ownidentitiesby offeringthem thenecessarysupportthat enablethem to becomeexemplarywomenin thefuture.

Itis evidentfrom thesourcesusedto compilethispaperthatyoungkids, especiallydaughtersare themostaffectedafter thedeathsof their mothers.As highlighted by Walter &amp McCoyd (2009). Daughtersaredenieda chanceto havea femalefigureto lookup to whenitcomesto emotionalsupportandpersonalityissues.Theytendto grieveforquitelongsince theylacktheanswersas to whyfatedeniedthem chancesof interactingwith their mothersforas longas necessary.Younggirlsalwaysneedan individualwhomtheycan modeltheir behaviorson, andwhentheyare motherless, itdeniesthem an opportunityto learnfrom their immediateenvironment(Schultz,2007). Theothersideof theeffectof suchdeathson thelivesof thegirlsis thatitmay be an advantageto them in thesensethatitgivesthem an opportunityto realizedreamsthattheir motherscould havedeniedthem from pursuing.Itfollowsfrom theideathatthere are someconservativemotherswhohavesubscribedto oldschoolnotions thatthere are otherfieldsoraccomplishmentsthat arenot meantforladies.Theyoungdaughterscan goaheadandbe superstars in their ownrightsin theabsenceof suchmothersthusmakingthem quitesuccessful(Clark,2006).

Regardingthesecondquestion,there are numerousmechanismsthat can be initiatedandexecutedto helpsuchdaughtersto cope with thelossesof their mothers.Fathershaveto createadequateandsufficienttimefortheir daughtersto enablethem to feeltheparentallovethat is instrumentalin helpingthem to liveandthrivewith thelossesof their mothers.Femalefamilymembershavea roleto playby ensuringthatthemotherlylovethatthesemotherless daughtersare cravingforis providedto thebestof their knowledge.Theyneedto standin andhelpthefathersto suchdaughtersto helpthem to liveimpressivelives.Counselorsandexperiencedmothersfrom theneighborhoodcan alsobe askedto provideemotionalsupportandguidancethat can helpto boostthemorale andattitudeof themotherless daughtersthushelpingthemto cope with thelossesof theirmothers.

References

Brown,L. H., &amp DeRycke, S. B. (2010). The kinkeeping connection:Continuity, crisis and consensus. Journalof Intergenerational Relationships, 8,338-353.

Clark,C (2006). When Mom is Gone. PeopleMagazine65(15, 62-75)

Edelman,H. (2006). Motherlessdaughters: The legacy of loss.Cambridge, MA: Da Capo Press.

Mireault,G. C., Thomas, T., &amp Bearor, K. (2012). Maternal identity amongmotherless mothers and psychological symptoms in their firstbornchildren. Journalof Child and Family Studies, 11,287-297.

Schultz,L. E. (2007). The influence of maternal loss of young women`sexperience of identity development in emerging adulthood. DeathStudies, 31,17-43.

Walter,C. A., &amp McCoyd, J. L. M. (2009). Griefand loss across the lifespan: A biopsychosocial perspective.New York: Springer Pub. Co.