Revision of Essay 1 and 2

Revisionof Essay 1 and 2

Myonline life and persona vs. my real life persona

Revision

Inmy document, there are a number of things that need somerectification so that the document may be more comprehensive than itis currently. One of the things is that I stated that in my real lifeinteractions I am shy and consequently I have made only few friends.I also stated that in my real life interactions I am less confidentas opposed to my online interactions which I find to be more fun.However, I failed to indicate how these aspects came into being. Forexample, I should have indicated whether I have been in thatcondition since my childhood. The document hence needs to be revisedso that it will address crucial aspects related to that situationsuch as how it came to existence.

Ishould also revise the document so that it will address my viewconcerning to this aspect. In simple terms, some revisions on thedocument are necessary that help the reader to understand whether Iam comfortable with my situation or not. I also indicated in thedocument that I spend much time catching up with my online pals on mycomputer and phone. However, I should have expounded on that so thatit will be clear on whether I am an online chatting addict and if Iam not what measures I usually take to ensure that I am not addictedto online chatting. I also indicated that I esteem privacy more in myreal life than in my online life. The document, however, need to berevised so that it will explain the measures on the ground to makesure that my private information is not misused, or it does not endup in the wrong hands.

Arrangement

Thedocument’s arrangement revolves around my personal lives bothonline and real social lives and the results of both my socialpatterns. The arrangement reveals how my current real live patternshave been influenced by my social patterns. It is hence clear thatthe arrangement involved the relationship between my social patternsand resultant behaviors.

Invention

Tocome up with this document I was required to first of all analyze mysocial patterns and circles. I also forced critically to assess mybehaviors both in my real and online social life so that I may beable to highlight the existing differences between the two types ofmy social lives. Research was also essential in helping me to developa comprehensive analysis of how these social patterns mould traits ofthe human beings. The aspect helped me to understand why there werevarying traits related to my real and online social lives.

Delivery

Theessay`s main intention is to reach a targeted group in an efficientmanner irrespective of the means of its delivery. The available meansof delivering this document’s information may be through media suchas newspapers, televisions, journals as well as pinning on the noticeboards. Efficiency is however a crucial aspect and hence the radiomeans becomes preferable than other means since it has the potentialof reaching many individuals simultaneously. Internet also can serveas means of delivering the document’s information where I canupload it to be read online.

Style

Inthe document, I made use of an analytic style more than a comparativestyle. The document tends to analyze one part of my social life toits exhaustion and later expound on the other. However, to someextent it incorporated a comparative style when I tried to comparewhat takes place in my online social life as opposed to my realsocial life.

OnlineShopping

Revision

Inmy document, I analyzed many benefits that result, as a result ofonline shopping as well as some of the demerits of using it. The mainpart that I would like to make some adjustments is on thedisadvantages resulting from the online shopping. I put across that Iwas once a victim of online shopping malpractices, fraud to be inparticular. I explained that out of the malpractice I lost my money,as a result, of hacking of my credit card. My information was alsoabsorbed by someone else and began their personal blogs with the useof my personal information. In this aspect, some revision isessential that will clarify on the steps I took after this event tookplace (Kaplan &amp Haenlein 2009a).

Thedocument should also be revised to explain how secure the onlineshopping is and whose responsibility is to ensure that the onlineshoppers details are safe. I also put across the possibility of theonline shopping overtaking the traditional means of shopping. I alsogave an insight that these may adversely affect the economy with manycompanies sacking their employees. The document needs to be revisedso that it analyzes how online shopping will specifically affect theeconomy of nations and what are the possible results in the nations’economy if online shopping becomes the preference of manyindividuals. It should also be revised to offer measures that shouldbe taken so as to counter the negative economic implications thatwould result from online shopping (Kaplan &amp Haenlein, 2010).

Arrangement

Inthis document, I arranged my points so that it reveals how onlineshopping relates with current shopping trends. The arrangement alsoreveals how online shopping is affecting people using it as well asthe economy of nations both positively and negatively. Thearrangement also allowed me to give an insight of the relationshipthat is in existence between the current online marketing trends andfuture online shopping possibilities.

Invention

Whencoming up with this document both personal assessment and researchwere crucial pillars. I had to revisit all my entire online shoppinglife and critically analyze it so that I could manage to highlightthe benefits I have enjoyed, as a result, of using online shopping aswell as the negative impacts online shopping have imparted upon mylife. I also had to do some research from various sources so that Imay understand other people’s view on online shopping and theadvantages and disadvantages they can highlight, as a result, ofusing online shopping (Kaplan &amp Haenlein 2009a).

Delivery

Thedocument`s main intention is to reach a targeted group in anefficient manner. The available means of delivering this document’sinformation may be through media such as newspapers, televisions,journals as well as pinning on the notice boards. In terms ofefficiency, the radio means becomes more preferred than other meanssince it has the potential of reaching many individualssimultaneously. Internet also can serve as means of delivering thedocument’s information where I can upload it to be read online(Sundar, 2004).

Style

Inthe document, the analytic style dominated the entire document. Thedocument offered its points through a critical analysis of onlineshopping. It analyzed the resultant advantages, disadvantages as wellas potential economic crisis that would result, as a result, ofextreme use of online shopping (Kaplan &amp Haenlein, 2010). Thestyle helped me be able to analyze how the trend is moving along andhence helped me to give an analysis of the potential future aspectsof online shopping.

References

Kaplan,A. M., &amp Haenlein, M. (2009a). Consumeruse and business otential of virtual worlds: The case of Second Life.TheInternational Journal on Media Management,11(3).

Kaplan,A. M., &amp Haenlein, M. (2009b). Consumers,companies, and virtual social worlds: A qualitative analysis ofSecond Life.Advances in Consumer Research, 36(1), 873—874.

Kaplan,A. M., &amp Haenlein, M. (2010). Users of the world, unite! Thechallenges and

opportunitiesof Social Media. BusinessHorizons,(53) pages 59—68. Retrieved From,http://michaelhaenlein.com/Publications/Kaplan,%20Andreas%20-%20Users%20of%20the%20world,%20unite.pdf

Schau,H. J., &amp Gilly, M. C. (2003). Weare what we post? Self-presentation in personal web space.Journalof Consumer Research,30(3), 385—404.

Sundar,S.S.,(2004). Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication.International Communication Association.Retrieved from,http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/journal/10.1111/%28ISSN%291083-6101